20 things you'll never hear at your funeral.
1. You know we really wish she gave less, risked less and served less.
2. Mummy and Daddy had a huge impact on my life because they made so much money. (greatest hits)
3. He had by far the best house and the newest nicest car in the neighborhood.
4. Nobody in the world has ever gone through what He went through.
5. You know what's amazing about this guy? He lived life to the fullest and he did it all on his own. He didn't even need anyone. (friendship)
6. She attempted and accomplished so many great things in her life but she never failed once. (fail)
7. My husband was so amazing because he was always right. I never heard him say sorry because He never had to say sorry. (sorry)
8. I wish dad would said he was proud of me less and I never understood why mom wanted to spend so much time with me. (disgraceful dad)
9. She changed the world by pointing out what was wrong with what others were doing. She never played on the team but she was a master critic of the game from the bleachers and the world is a better place for it. (shut up or play)
10. None of us would be here if He hadn't taken life too seriously. We are indebted to the fact that he never laughed, played or had any significant fun. (laugh)
11. It's incredible how she managed to do great things for God without having to first be faithful in the small insignificant things. (waiting)
12. My dad was the best in the world because he always made sure we lived way above our income.
13. She was so skinny and wore a size __. He was so ripped! (him)
14. He tried to be the best in the world at what he did and succeeded. There was none better.
15. She stood for many things and was beloved by everyone. (haters)
16. He was always on fire for God. No deserts, doubts or waiting periods. Just mountain tops. (doubt)
17. Daddy was my hero because I never saw him cry or show weakness . (dudes)
18. (S)he was so happy and lived a satisfying life because (s)he was GREAT in bed and experienced every sexual pleasure possible. (sex)
19. This is the part of the funeral where we judge his or her life based on how they faired compared to those around them. (envy)
20. He had no hope. When we look at his or her life, one thing we can all agree on is, it was so bad, there literally was NO hope left.
One to twenty, which one(s) did you need to hear?
Also, what would you like to emphasize or add to the list?
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