Digging through the most hurtful thing someone ever said to you.
Crazy thing is, if prior to this trip you told me I was still carrying wounds from high school, I would have rolled my eyes and looked at you like you were from crazy town.
Its really amazing how long words stay with us.
I don't remember the exact words this friend said 14 years ago but I remember him saying something along the lines of "I guess Sammy could manage to tag along but really he doesn't bring anything significant to the table".
I remember the exact moment when he said that but again, if you would have asked, I would have told you I was over it.
Dude probably doesn't remember that. I haven't thought about that in years. That was high school. Who cares?
Because all of sudden when I was within minutes of seeing this guy again, I was flooded with an overwhelming desire to want to prove myself to him.
I wanted him to know I mattered. I wanted to show him my resume and accomplishments. I wanted to prove to him, 14 years later that I DO bring something significant to the table.
I didn't end up seeing him but I did end up learning a very valuable lesson about myself. I realized how much I had been trying for the last 14 years to undo what this guy said to me in high school.
Until that moment, I never understood why I had this unhealthy compulsion to prove myself to strangers. Now I realize I was just trying to manage a 'word wound' I sustained in high school.
Practically speaking, this means whenever I'm in a situation with people who don't know me, I constantly try to make sure they know that I bring something significant to the table. I need them to know that I do matter.
All because some guy said something mean to me in high school.
Words hurt. Words wound. Wounds scar. Scars stay with us a long time.
I wonder how many things you do today because you're trying to disprove, prove or undo something someone once said to you.
You're a loser. You're worthless. You're useless.
You're ugly. You're so dumb. You're insignificant.
I wish I'd never _________ you. (known, loved, seen, slept with, been with).
You're the worst ________ ever. (spouse, daughter, friend, son, brother, roommate).
What if the real reason you're so obsessed with dating is because of something someone once said to you?
What if the reason you live at the gym is because of what happened in junior high gym class?
What if you're a workaholic because dad said you'd never amount to anything and you're trying to prove him wrong?
I don't care how old you are or how confident you think you are, I think if you dig deep down, you'll find some words that you're trying to undo.
For me, realizing what I've been trying to undo the last 14 years has been so incredibly freeing.
I can now walk into situations and be better equipped (with the gospel) to deal with this lingering wound from high school but none of that would have happened if I couldn't identity my scars.
I'm hoping you'll take a self exam right now and starting today you'll be able to identify 'word wounds' you sustained in the past and link them to why you respond the way you do in certain situations.
Here's a great start. I know its tough but please, please, try it and be honest. First tell me...
What are some of the most hurtful things anyone has ever said to you?
Also, how do you think that affects you today?
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