four, five, SEX part 5: Hardest post I've ever written.
[Very Important: Please read all the way through.]
Ashley. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I failed you. I’m sorry I failed us.
I’m sorry I traded the best thing in my life for an hour of pleasure. I’m sorry I betrayed you. I destroyed everything we ever worked for.
I compromised the most intimate part of our marriage. I feel dirty, worthless and lost.
I’m supposed to be your hero but instead I caused you so much heartache. I’ve never seen you hurt or cry so much. The hardest part about this is knowing that nothing I say or do will ever change what I’ve done. You’ll always have a huge scar on your heart because of me. I’m so sorry.
I’m moving out for a while so you can come back home. I don’t expect you to answer my calls.
Bebe. I’m so sorry. I know you probably can’t comprehend what is happening or why everything has changed. I’m sorry that I hurt mummy. I’m sorry I can’t be home for a while. I know your friends are all talking about our family. I’m sorry for the shame I brought you.
I hope you can forgive me.
This is not what God designed marriage to be. I hope you someday find a man that is man enough to not do to you what I have just done to mom.
Zakuska. I don’t know where to start. I feel like such a hypocrite. All those years of telling you there’s nothing like being in Gods story all down the drain? All in one night? I’m so sorry. I know I’ve lost all moral authority with you. I know you’ll never be able to hear another sermon I preach the same way.
I’m stepping down from leadership and all ministry.
Although Gods grace is enough for me, I know that no matter how much I repent, I’ll never be able to lead with the same capacity again. At least not for a long, long time. I’m sorry.
Sexual temptation banks on you having a short sighted perspective to be effective.
No one would take the plunge if we truly and fully considered the consequences.
If faced with an option between losing everything that matters to me because I committed adultery or saving it because I said no to 30 minutes of sexual pleasure, I think any reasonable person would agree that its not even close.
But yet everyday people choose option A. Its all perspective.
Regardless of whether you are single, married, virgin or not, I think one of the biggest safeguards you can have on this journey of purity is considering today the consequences of failing morally tomorrow.
Let me be clear; I'm NOT talking about 2nd chances. Gods grace will ALWAYS give us an opportunity to stand every time we fall. Every single time. No story is beyond redemption. This exercise is NOT meant to keep us defeated but rather to highlight the consequences of sexual failures.
Even though its not true and I’ve never cheated on my wife, this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever written.
So, following my example, please thoughtfully consider the following question and share your honest answer. It’ll be hard but its an exercise that's bound to give you perspective.
What is at stake [consequences] if and when you compromise your sexuality through adultery, pornography, lust, pre-marital sex e.t.c?
How will the people and things you love most be affected?
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