How to be mean to your family and nice to strangers.
That's the unwritten rule isn't it?
Be extremely gracious to people you hardly know but treat those who are closest to you like trash.
Isn't it amazing how the same thing can mean two completely different things based on how we perceive who it's from?
How about some examples.
Stranger goes out of their way to help us, they are generously giving us a gift.
Spouse goes out of their way to help us, its status quo cause they are doing what they're supposed to do...
Guy at work says you look cute, you blush and never forget what you wore that day.
Husband says you look cute, you roll your eyes and assume there's a catch or he's just being nice.
When friends pursue and call us all the time, we feel special.
When family members pursue and call us all the time, they are annoying and overbearing.
We wonder why acquaintances don't wanna spend more intentional time with us.
We wonder why family isn't content that we live under the same roof.
Mistakes by outsiders are met with grace i.e we assume the best. (Nobody is perfect)
Mistakes by insiders are met with hostility i.e we assume the worst. (You just don't care)
Alright, I'll stop. You get the point.
We often don't appreciate those who sacrifice(d) the most for us. Perhaps because we assume they'll always be there?
Hate to break it to you (and me) but mom and dad and sister and hubby and wifey won't always be there.
Someday they'll 'go' or you'll 'go'.
Then everything flips and worlds come crashing down cause losing a loved one is perhaps the worst thing a human heart has to endure.
We can't do anything to avoid death but we can slightly soften the blow for our loved ones 'then' by investing in meaningful and significant memories 'now'.
I'm not saying don't 'appreciate' acquaintances, I'm just saying don't take your loved ones for granted cause when you go, they'll be the ones stuck.
Your face-book friends will feel bad, send flowers and maybe shed a tear when you die.
Then they'll go back to watching American Idol, texting and laughing at silly status updates online.
But your loved ones?
Yea, they are stuck for weeks, months, and years. Until they also 'go'.
But Sammy, you don't know 'them'.
You're right, I don't.
But just so you know, every family's got annoying, insensitive, obnoxious, overbearing, lazy and whatever else bugs you about your family.
No one's family is the 'Cosby's'.
Not even Jesus had the luxury of a perfect family so can we please stop chasing an illusion?
All that to say, please appreciate your loved ones.
Don't get so easily annoyed by your nosey mom.
Be a little patient with your disorganized husband.
Smile and say its okay the next time your kid spills milk on the carpet.
Text your buddy and tell him how much he means to you.
Not tomorrow. Today. Please don't gloss this over and move on to the next thing. Please. Not for my sake. For your sake and theirs.
Here's a baby step to get us started.
You know that 'person' (spouse/kids/parents/friend/roommate) that immediately came to mind as you were reading this post?
Yea, lets start there. You don't have to name names. You can even do this anonymously, just...
Tell me something you appreciate about that 'loved one'.
(can you think of other examples of how we treat family differently?)
Why do we take those closest to us for granted?
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