Man Vs Chick Flick.
I'll never forget the look on her face after the movie ended.
Funny thing is, I don’t even remember what movie we watched.
I remember my brain cells were fried from our knees touching throughout the whole movie but I don’t remember the name of the movie.
Just the look on her face after the movie was done.
The face of someone who wondered if she would ever experience anything close to the fairy tale kind of love she just witnessed for a few hours (albeit indirectly through an unrealistic movie).
Yea, I saw that look on Ashley's face and in that very moment I knew it was me vs 'the chick flick'.
Both of us fighting for her attention. Only one would win. As we left the theater that day, I swore I would never be outdone by a movie.
In other words, I decided I was going to pursue her in a way that every chick flick she'll ever watch will be a little less satisfying because it falls short of what she's experiencing in real life.
Yes I was determined to go toe to toe with Matthew McConaughey. :)
THE BIG PROBLEM
Only problem was (besides not being as chiseled and good looking), I was an immigrant college drop out without a job, money or a drivers license.
I tell you what, it doesn't matter how amazing the date is, getting dropped off at home by your girlfriend has a way of killing your thunder.
But still, I was determined to win her heart in an epic way.
So, I made every date count and when it was time to pop the question, I literally spent several hours and weeks scribbling down thoughts until I came up with a plan. Then I offered to paint a 3 story house with my friend Tim.
I've never painted a garage before much less a 3 story house but I didn’t care. I had a woman to pursue and this was one way to make some cash so we rented scaffolding, googled how to paint a house and 3 scary weeks later we got paid.
With a ring now in hand, I swung for the fences. Here's the breakdown.
THE BIG DAY
1. Roses are red:
For four straight days (Monday-Thursday) I dressed up and surprised Ashley with a red rose.
On Friday morning, Instead of giving her a rose, I surprised Ashley with train tickets to Chicago where we had our first date. When we got there, we got picked up by a luxury car that took us to a hotel.
4. Girl in the red dress:
At the hotel, I handed Ashley keys to a room where she found a red dress that she had tried and loved at the mall 6 months ago. (Risky I know but it fit. Praise God). 20 minutes later, I met her in the lobby dressed in a smoking Tuxedo.
5. Let's play:
Next stop, Cadillac theater to watch Phantom of the Opera.
6. Horsing around:
After the show, we walk outside to find a horse and carriage waiting for someone. Who's it for? I paused for a few dramatic minutes, then I looked at her and said that's for us babe.
So here we are, on a day that started so normal, me in a tux with her in a red dress riding a horse and carriage through the snow in downtown Chicago. It was straight out of a movie. Except it was better. It was real life.
7. $20 Mashed Potatoes on a sky scrapper:
Our ride dropped us off at the 'signature room' restaurant which is on the 95th floor of the John Hancock building.
Window seats (that needed booked a table a month earlier) overlooking downtown Chicago? Check!
* $20 for mashed potatoes? Check!
* Best friends Royce and Liz randomly showing up at the table and asking to escort Ashley somewhere after I snuck away to the restroom? Check!
THE BIG FINISH
15 minutes later, she’s walking towards me as I wait in a gazebo. Christmas Lights. Snow. Butterflies in my stomach. It was perfect.
She came over and with tears streaming down both our faces, I told her I could no longer bring God any more glory unless I was with her. Then I got on a knee and asked her to marry me.
She said yes. We cried, kissed and her family who were hiding behind trees came out and celebrated with us.
THE BIGGER STORY
Great story but why did i share all this? To pat myself on the back? So you'll think I'm awesome?
No. Trust me, I have enough baggage on the "passive guy" side of the scale to easily tip this whole thing. Besides that was just round one (the easy round) and I still struggle with pursuing my wife furiously every single day after she said yes.
I guess I just wanted to encourage us men to keep furiously pursuing.
Please don't miss the point. I'm not ultimately asking you to be someone you're not. I also not saying you need to give out roses and buy $20 mashed potatoes to pursue your woman.
I'm just asking you to give pursuit the best shot you can.
For me that often means being creative because that's how I'm wired. It probably looks different for you.
I know a guy who has absolutely no ounce of creativity in his bones but is absolutely incredible with his hands. So guess what he's doing? He is building a house for his future wife. He hasn't even met her yet but he's building a house for her.
Men, I don't know what your natural lean is but here's what I do know..
You’ve got enough in you to pursue a woman in a way that whoops any unrealistic chick flick she’ll ever see. You were wired to win her heart in an epic way to the glory of God.
That's all I'm asking. Single or married, let’s give it all we've got. Lets do the best that we can. Win her heart. Keep her heart. Fight for her. Who's with me?
Men, what do you think are some reasons why it's hard for us to pursue well?
Ladies, I know it's probably different for everyone so please tell me, what kind of pursuit makes you feel valued? Also, what advice do you have for men who would like to live a good love story?
[This post is a part of "Living a good story" blogging series by Prodigal Magazine. Please swing by and say hi to my new friends]
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